Heaven Is Here

For the last couple years I have read "Nie Nie's" blog, such an inspiration.  I didn't know she had a book out, and if I would have known sooner I probably would have already had it read (I know it just came out).  I decided that it would be fun for me and my sisters to read it together and then we could talk about it...like a book club of sorts.  So yesterday I told my sister to buy it and I would buy it as well.  I bought it last night at about 10:30 and I read several chapters last night.  And all I wanted to do when I woke up is read!  I have read it almost all day except for the occasional breaks to feed, change and play with Crue.

Its such an inspirational book, I can't imagine was she went through and what she is still going through.  I read about her life and it makes me want to be a better mom, Crue looks up to me as his mother and I want to be there for him ALWAYS.  In her book there was one part that has really struck me so much so that I was in tears, she was in the hospital just a few weeks before she would be released and the Dr. wanted her to have her kids come up and see her.  He felt like it was part of the healing process.  And her daughter came in the room after not seeing her mom for 5 months, and looked at her and quickly looked away.  And left the room and didn't want to see her mom.  And still further into the story she still hasn't faced her mom, and Nie Nie said she just cried all night, because she felt like her own kids didn't love her anymore.  I don't think Jane wasn't coming to see her mom because she didn't love her but probably because she was simply scared by the change in her mom.

I worry that one day Crue won't think I am that "cool" anymore and maybe he wouldn't love me as much as I love him.  Overall I just want to be a better mother, and wife because of this book.  Its truly amazing, everyone should read it...it is a tear jerker.